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  • 平凡的世界

    作者:路遙

    田潤葉是今早晨上班后,才聽說李向前因車禍而被鋸斷了雙腿。

    地區一個局長家里發生了這樣的事,很快就會傳遍地委和行署機關。不過,局外人傳播這類事,就好象傳播一條普通的新聞,不會引起什么反響。

    但田潤葉聽到這消息后卻不可能無動于衷。不論怎樣,這個遇到災禍的人在名義是她的丈夫。

    她不能再象往日那樣平靜地坐在團地委的辦公室里,處理案頭上的公務。她心慌意亂,坐立不安。與此同時,她還關切她的弟弟潤生是否也蒙難了。

    后來她才確切地弄清楚,失事的只是向前一個人,潤生沒有跟這趟車。她還聽說,向前是因為喝醉酒而把車開翻的……

    潤葉一下子記起:上次潤生說過,向前是因為她而苦惱,常常一個人喝悶酒。她知道,這個人過去滴酒不沾,也不吸煙。

    一種說不出口的內疚開始隱隱地刺激她那顆冰涼的心,是呀,這個人正是因為她才酗酒,結果招致了慘禍,把兩條腿都失掉了。從良心上說,這罪過起因在她的身上。

    事情到了這個地步,潤葉才不由設身處地從向前那方面來考慮問題。是的,仔細一想,他很不幸。雖然他和她結婚幾年,但一直等于打光棍。她想起了結婚后他從北京回來那晚上的打斗。她當時只知道自己很不幸,但沒有去想他的可憐。

    唉,他實際上也真的是個可憐人。而這個可憐人又那么一個死心眼不變,寧愿受罪,也不和她離婚。她知道他父母一直給他施加壓力,讓他和她一刀兩斷,但他就是不。她也知道,盡管她對他冷若冰霜,但他仍然去孝敬他的父母,關懷她的弟弟;在外人看來,他已經有點下賤了,他卻并不為此而改變自己的一片癡迷之心。

    可是,潤葉,你又曾怎樣對待這個人呢?

    幾年來,她一直沉緬于自己的的痛苦之中,而從來沒有去想那個人的痛苦。想起他,只有一腔怨恨。她把自己的全部不幸都歸罪于他。平心而論,當年這婚事無論出自何種壓力,最終是她親口答應下來的。如果她當時一口拒絕,他死心以后,這幾年也能找到自己的幸福。正是因為她的一念之差,既讓她自己痛苦,也使他備受折磨,最后造成了如此悲慘的結果。

    她完全能想來,一個人失去雙腿意味著什么——從此之后,他的一生就被毀了;而細細思量,毀掉這個人的也許正是她!

    潤葉立在自己的辦公桌前,低傾著頭躁動不安地摳著手指頭,脊背上不時滲出一層冷汗她能清楚地看見,躲在醫院里的李向前,臉上帶著怎樣絕望和痛苦的表情……“我現在應該去照顧他。”一種油然而生的惻隱之心使她忍不住自言自語說。

    上一篇:第四十八章 下一篇:第五十章

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