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  • 平凡的世界

    作者:路遙

    這是五月里一個溫暖的傍晚,田曉霞從宿舍里走出來,一個人在校園的路徑上慢慢遛達著。路兩邊筆直的白楊樹已經綴滿了嫩綠的葉片。晚風和樹葉在談心,發出一些人所不能理解的細微聲響……

    這姑娘仍不失往日那種風度,薄毛衣外面象男孩一樣披件夾克衫,兩條胳膊幫在鼓囊囊的胸前,似乎陷入到一種深邃的沉思之中;但臉上還帶著通常那種無意識的、驕傲的微笑。這是一個美好的夜晚,遠遠近近,燈光點點,綠意朦朧,空氣中彌漫著槐花甜絲絲的芬芳。

    對這位二十三歲的大學生來說,日子過得既快活又不盡人意。她沒有什么大苦惱,但內心常常感到騷動不安。一天里也充滿了小小的成功與歡樂,充滿了煩惱與憂傷,充滿著憤懣與不平,也充滿著友愛和思念。唉,時光就是在這樣飛逝著——轉眼又是冬去春來了!

    田曉霞忍不住立在路邊,面對著梧桐山那面升起的一輪明月發了會呆。她望著幽深的藍天,吸吮著深春的氣息,心里火辣辣的。

    她突然發現自己未免有點“小布爾喬亞”了,便由不得哈哈一笑,稍微加快點腳步,向前面走去。

    在剛踏入黃原師專的時候,有一件事就在田曉霞的內心深處攪動起來:師專畢業后,她去干什么?

    這是一個很現實的問題。這所學校是師范性質的,培養學生的目標,就是畢業后在黃原幾個地區去當中學教師。這是她很不愿意從事的職業。一生當個教書匠,這對她來說是難以想象的。盡管她在理性上承認這是一個崇高的職業,但絕對不合她的心意。她天性中有一種闖蕩和冒險精神,希望自己的一生充滿火熱的情調;哪怕去西藏或新疆去當一名地質隊員呢!

    但要擺脫當教師的命運,又絕非易事。這學校的歷屆畢業生,很少有過例外。首先必須去當教師,然后才可能從教師隊伍中轉向另外工作——這也是少數有能耐的人才可以做到的。當然,她父親是地委書記,可以走點“后門”,把她分配到行政單位。但她對行政工作比當教師更反感。再說,她父親也不一定會給她走這個后門。

    她有時很為這件事苦惱;甚至都有點精神不振和自制力松懈,以至影響了學習和進取心。

    但她也能較快地從這種狀態中解脫出來。每當她面臨精神危機的時候,緊跟著便會對自己進行一番嚴厲的內心反省。她意識到,雖然隨著年齡和知識的增長,她成熟了許多,但也不可避免地沾染上某些屬于市民的意識。雖然她一直是鄙薄這些東西的,可又難免“如入鮑魚之肆,久而不聞其臭”。也許人為了生存,有時也不得不采取一些。但這些東西象是腐蝕劑,必然帶來眼界狹窄、自制力減弱、奮斗精神衰退等等弊病。田曉霞畢竟是田曉霞!即使有時候主觀上覺得倒退是可以的,但客觀上卻是無法忍受的,她必須永遠是一個生活的強者!

    上一篇:第三十八章 下一篇:第四十章

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