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  • 平凡的世界

    作者:路遙

    孫少安內心的苦惱并不比田潤葉少。

    當他在石圪節的公路上看完她那張一目了然的紙條后,先是驚呆了。

    盡管他和她從小可以說是青梅竹馬,但他長這么大,從來沒敢想過讓潤葉做他的媳婦。不管從哪方面看,這都是絕對不可能的。因為不可能,也就不可能去想。

    可是,突然福從天降,一張白紙條如同一道耀眼的電光在他眼前閃現,照得他一下子頭暈目眩了!

    當他反應過來這是怎么一回事的時候,曾站在公路上幸福地哭起來。那時他感到一股巨大的暖流在他的胸膛里洶涌澎湃;感到天旋地轉,整個世界都眉開眼笑,成了另外一個樣子。記得當時他不知道自己是怎樣從石圪節走回雙水村的;一直到進了他家院子的時候,手里還僵硬地握著她那封信……

    溫暖而幸福的激流很快就退潮了。他立刻就回到了自己所處的實際生活中來。一切簡單而又明白:這是不可能的!

    是的,不可能。一個滿身汗臭的泥腿把子,怎么可能和一個公家的女教師一塊生活呢?盡管現在說限制什么資產階級法權,提倡新生事物,也聽宣傳說有女大學生嫁了農民的,可這終究是極少數現象。他孫少安沒福氣也沒勇氣創造這個“新生事物”。再說,他家這光景,讓潤葉過門來怎么辦?旁的先不說,連個住的地方也沒有……唉,土窯洞他倒有力氣打一孔,主要是這家窮得已經象一個破篩子,到處是窟窿眼……就是家能過得去又怎樣呢?女的在城里當干部,男的在農村勞動,這哪里聽說過?如果男的在門外工作,女的在農村,這還正常——這現象倒并不少見,比如金俊海在黃原開汽車,他老婆和孩子就一直在村子里住著……另外,想到潤葉的家庭,他更寒心了。田福堂是雙水村的主宰,多年來積攢下一份厚實家業,吃穿已經和脫產干部沒什么兩樣。她二爸又是縣上的大干部,前后村莊有幾家能比得上?難道貧困農民孫玉厚的小子,就能和這樣的家庭聯親?這簡直是笑話!

    但他一想到潤葉本人,心里就由不得感到酸楚。她并不是一個夢境中虛幻的姑娘。她和他一塊長大,相互熟悉和親切得象兄妹一樣。他要是真的能和她一塊生活一輩子,那他對自己的一生會多么滿足啊!他想他如果當時家境好一些,和她一塊去城里上完中學,參加了工作,他說不定真能和她結合在一起……

    但他能抱怨命運嗎?能后悔自己回來當了農民嗎?不,他不抱怨,不后悔,也不為此而悲傷。他要幫助父親養活一家人,而且要對少平和蘭香的前途負起責任來。從那時到現在,盡管過得艱難,但這個家庭還維持著——這就是他的驕傲!當然,他還并不滿足這些。一旦有了轉機,他孫少安還會把這個家營務得更好;他在這方面雄心勃勃,希望將來能和田福堂、金俊山那樣的光景爭個高低!至于他個人的婚姻,他這兩年并不是沒有考慮——他終究已經二十三歲了,象他這個年齡的農民大都已結了婚,沒結婚的也基本都有了對象。他想他要找一個能吃苦的農村姑娘,和他一起創立家業。但并不是眼下就解決——這不是說現在不想娶媳婦,而是現在還娶不起。他想等少平高中畢業,不論弟弟能找個臨時性工作,或者回來勞動,他就多了一個幫手,到那時再考慮自己的婚姻也不遲。最使他熬煎的是,他打鬧不起上千元的財禮錢。這兩年也有人給他說媳婦,可沒人給他說不要錢的媳婦。

    上一篇:第十九章 下一篇:第二十一章

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