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  • 平凡的世界

    作者:路遙

    自從春天進入縣高中以來,孫少平已經在這里度過很長一段日子了。在這段時間里,他經歷了貧困、饑餓和孤獨的折磨;經歷了初戀的煎熬和失戀后的更大煎熬——當這幕小小的青春悲劇結束以后,他內心中感情的河流反而趨向于平靜,而思想和理智的成分卻增多了。

    這并不是說他已經成熟了。不,從一切方面說,他仍然是一個沒有成長起來的青年。

    從學校組織文藝宣傳隊下鄉演出,到他和田曉霞去黃原地區參加了革命故事調講會以后,盡管他的物質生活仍然沒什么改變,但他的精神世界卻開始豐富起來。另外,他現在已經有一身象樣的藍咔嘰布制服,站在集體的行列中看起來和別人也沒什么差別;而且由于他個頭高大,反倒顯得漂亮和瀟灑。他用省下的一點零錢,買了一副最廉價的牙具,把一口整齊的牙齒刷得雪白。梳子和鏡子他買不起,也不好意思買,就常背轉人,對著教室的玻璃窗戶,用手指頭把頭發梳理得大約象那么一回事。如果他再有一雙象樣的運動鞋。那就會更神氣一些。

    他現在已經克服了剛進學校時的那種拘謹,無論和熟人還是和生人交往,都基本上不存在什么心理障礙了。加上他演過戲,又去黃原講過故事,見了世面,這半年不光擔任勞動干事,還被選成班上管宣傳的團支部委員,因而顯得比一般同學都要活躍一些。班上的同學都開始對他尊重起來,尤其是一些女同學,也開始用一種異樣的眼光來看他了——就好象他是剛出現的一個新人。

    但是郝紅梅對他的態度仍然是平淡的。這段時間以來,她和顧養民已經真正的好起來了。有人看見她已經去過一回養民家;并且說她現在用的那個大紅皮筆記本就是顧養民送給她的。孫少平現在對此很平靜,心理上不再產生任何異常的反映。生活已經在他面前展現出更寬闊的內容。他的眼光開始向四面八方進射。

    他已經不象剛入學那樣,老是等別人打完飯才去取那兩個黑饃;他漸漸拋棄了這種虛榮或者說自卑,大大方方站在隊列中取他的飯。班里有幾個家里光景好的同學,甚至成了喜歡他的朋友,有時候他們還背著他給他訂一份乙菜呢。孫少平已經隱約地認識到,一個人要活得有意思,不僅是吃好的和穿好的,還應該具備許許多多他現在也不能全部說清楚的東西。當然,一想起家庭的貧困和自己生活的寒酸,他心里仍然發慌。但這一切和剛開始時已經完全不同了。

    在這一段時間里,也許他最重要的收獲就是和田曉霞的結識。通過和曉霞在一塊演戲和講故事,他被這個女孩子的個性和對事情非同一般的認識強烈地吸引了。這種心理決然不同于他和郝紅梅的那種狀態。他當初對紅梅是一種感情要求,而現在對曉霞則是一種從內心產生的佩服。她讀的書很多,看問題往往和社會上一般的看法不一樣,甚至完全相反。有時她竟然還不同意報紙上的說法,這使孫少平常常大吃一驚。

    上一篇:第二十四章 下一篇:第二十六章

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