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  • 平凡的世界

    作者:路遙

    大自然不管人世間的喜怒哀樂,總是按它自己的規律循序漸進地變換著一年四季。

    一九七六年的春天隨著驚蟄第一聲響雷,就如期地來到了黃土高原。

    清明節的前一天,氣候驟然間轉暖,陽光和煦地照耀著解凍不久的大地。

    原西河對岸的山灣里,桃花又一次紅艷艷地盛開了。河兩岸的緩坡上,剛出地皮的青草芽子和枯草夾雜在一起,黃黃綠綠,顯出了一派盎然的生機。柳絲如同少女的秀發,在春風中搖曳。燕子還不見蹤影,它們此時大概還在北返的路上,過一兩天就能飛回來。原西河早已解除了堅冰的禁錮,歡騰地唱著歌流向遠方……可是,田潤葉坐在原西河邊的草坡上,心里依然是一個寒冷的冬天。

    和去年這個時候相比,她瘦得都變了模樣。盡管還是原來的衣服,現在卻顯得異常地寬大起來;原來鵝蛋形的臉龐凹陷下去,臉蛋上那兩片可愛的緋紅顏色也褪了。眼睛失去往日的光彩,象暗淡下去的火焰。蓬松的剪發頭又梳成了兩條小辮,無精打采地耷拉在肩頭。

    現在,她手里捏著一朵剛搞下的馬蘭花,眼睛失神地望著嘩嘩東流的原西河水。問君能有幾多愁?恰似一江春水向東流!那位失落江山的廢君所寫下的這不朽的詞句,正能形容田潤葉此刻的心情。

    完了!她和自己心愛的人一塊生活的夢想徹底破滅了。他已經結婚,和一位山西姑娘一塊過光景了。

    人生中還有什么打擊能比得上年輕時候的失戀對人的打擊呢?那時候,人常常感到整個世界都一片昏暗。尤其象田潤葉這樣的人,她盡管在縣城參加了工作,但本質上也可以說仍然是一個農村姑娘。一旦當她第一次對一個男人產生了熱烈的愛情,就會深陷進去而不能自拔。可一旦這熱烈的向往落空,又很難從因此而造成的痛苦中解脫出來。她除過日常的生活和工作,又沒有遠大的事業上的追求來彌補感情上的損失……

    當然,這樣說,并不是說她就是一個飽食終日的庸人。不,我們的潤葉對自己本職的工作始終盡職盡責,甚至充滿了激情。她熱愛孩子和教師職業,為了給學生們教好書,備課常常廢寢忘食,有時直至夜半更深。至于工作中的一切規定、要求和任務,她更是模范地執行,兢兢業業地完成……勿容置疑,她是一個普普通通的人,她的思想、氣質、感情,優點和缺點,都是屬于普通人的。但普通人和出類拔萃的人一樣,也有自己的歡樂和痛苦,只不過不為大多數人了解罷了。人們寧愿去關心一個蹩腳電影演員的吃喝拉撒和雞毛蒜皮,而不愿了解一個普通人波濤洶涌的內心世界……此刻,田潤葉的內心正如同洶涌的波濤一般翻騰著。少安的突然結婚,向前對她的沒命追求,她二媽徐愛云和向前媽劉志英的輪番圍困,現在又加了一個老將徐國強出馬……如果少安沒有結婚,不論有多少人進攻,她感情的陣地仍然會固若金湯。想不到,她在前方的戰壕里拼命抵擋。但她為之而戰的后方卻自己燒成了一片火海……田潤葉坐在這河岸上,望著春日里東去的流水,忍不住又勾起往日的情思來。她想起去年的現在,是她和少安兩個人坐在這地方。她當時心兒是怎樣嘣嘣地歡跳啊!可是一年以后的今天,她一個人坐在這里,胸膛里象裝著一塊凍冰。抬頭望,桃花依然紅,柳絲照舊綠;低頭看,青草又發芽,水流還向東。可是,景似去年景,心如冰火再不同!

    上一篇:第三十四章 下一篇:第三十六章

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