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  • 在困難的日子里

    作者:路遙

    這可是一個絕好的早晨。太陽從遙遠的地平紅那邊升起來。給積雪的大地涂抹一一層淡淡的紅顏色。整個黃高原這樣一裝扮,于氣頓時顯得民常的雄壯起來。冬季里滿眼的荒涼都被厚絨絨的雪埋蓋了;大地上所有的高低錯落和參差不齊,都變成了一些單純的互相銜接的曲線。一切都給人一種豐潤和壯美的感覺。瘦骨伶仃的我背著行李,出現在冬季的原野上,走進這樣一幅大自然的圖畫中。出了縣城,穿過平展的田野,進了大山夾著的深溝——
      山路立刻變得崎嶇險要起來。
      我艱難地跋涉著。為了不掉進澗,思想和精力全都集中在了走路上。為了避開同學們的目光,我是在天還不明的時候就悄悄離學校的。沒有睡覺,沒有吃飯,肚子餓得像貓抓著一般。眼睛發黑,腿在打顫,十幾里路上已經記不清摔了多少咬!
      在一個避風的石崖下,我連人帶行一起倒在了一塊沒有雪的土堆上,閉住眼大口大地喘息起來。
      我倒在這里,再也起不來了。一種孤苦伶仃的感覺控制了我;寂寞,灰心,就像一個打了敗伏的士兵。記得在夏末初秋的時候,我正是懷著美好的心情從眼前這條路走向縣城,走向我向往著的新生活的。現在,卻從相反的方向回來了。這也許是我整個生活的轉向。
      盡管這樣令人難受和灰心,但這決不意味著我已經后悔。不,一切過卻去的都已經過去了。眼下為種情緒是極自然的。誰處在這樣的境況中會不難受呢?我寧可把這一切都看成是命運。在命運面前,人會逐漸地心平氣和的。記得在我來上高中之前,村里那幾個白胡子爺爺說我老爺爺的墳墓里有過樹根抬起棺木的奇跡,他們因此就推斷我前程遠大;但我父親和他們的說法正相反。他說:“咱們祖墳里就沒埋進去那種福氣!”“爸爸,你說的對……”我閉著眼睛,頭枕著鋪蓋卷,喃喃地念叨著;不知是瞌睡還是昏迷,感覺到意識已經控制不住,漸漸地就什么也不知道了……
      后來,我夢見我死了;尸體放在一塊冰上,骨頭都被凍裂了。我甚至還林名發出這樣的疑問:既然死了,為什么我還能覺得冷呢?噢,我發現我并沒有死,冰似乎漸漸變成溫縶的,便得身上慢慢暖和起來,并且還聽見有一個聲音在很遙遠的地方呼叫著我的名字……
      我醒了,睜開眼一看,身上蓋著一件棉大衣,鄭大衛正蹲在我身邊——這一切比夢境更叫人不可思議!
      “建強!”大衛叫了一聲,用手背抹了一下眼鏡片下面的淚水,嘴唇哆嗦著急得再說不出話來。他很快從身上的挎包里掏出一把餅干,又手捧到我面前。
      我立刻意識到眼前發生了事情!一陣愉快的顫栗閃電一般傳遍全身。以前所有的一切頃刻間變得那么遙遠,只有這個真誠親切的臉龐在眼前存在著。我從大衛手里接過了餅干,也接過了他對我的新的信任和友誼。
      “我對不起你,沒想到把你逼到這種境地。我聽亞玲說你為那些事退了學,感到很難過,就跑來追你了。你一定要回學校去!我已經重新給你的教導處報了名;我還央求我爸爸想辦法在縣上的機動救濟糧里給補助一些,他已經答應了……你一定要回去。同學們聽說你退了學,還捐助了許多糧票和錢,大家都在等著你。李老師還把我和亞玲、周文明叫去談了話,他倆也尋你來了,在后邊……請你原諒我吧……”他把掉在地上的棉大衣披在我身上,像大哥一樣,胳膊親熱地摟住了我的肩頭。我在他的胳膊彎里哭了。一剎那間,幸福、喜悅、委屈、所有的感情都涌上來了。大衛也在抹眼淚。這時候,我們都像孩子、又都像大人。是的,我們正在離開孩子的時代,走向成年人階段。在這個微妙的、也是美妙的年齡里,將會給我們以后留下多少微妙而美好的回憶啊!這時候,我們身后突然傳來一聲喊叫:
      “哈呀,追上了!”這是周文明,在他后邊,滿身糊著雪粉的吳亞玲看見了我,猛地站住了,喜悅的笑容即刻掛在了臉上,但她眼睛里卻蒙著一層淚花。周文明三跳兩蹦就來到我面前,平時的傲氣一點也沒有了,臉上泛起害羞的紅潮,直率地對我說:“很對不起你。李老師已經批評了我,我已經給亞玲和大衛道了歉,現在也要向你道歉。我以前實在對不起你,還傷害過你,請你原諒我。你實際上是一個很好的人。我不好。我這人毛病是太多了,從小在巷子里打架長大的。我記起了你的許多好處。旁的不說,每次考試,我不會,總要偷看你的幾道題……嗨!不是你,我恐怕今年下來要留級了。從今往后,我也要好好向你們幾位同學學習。建強,你回吧!以后缺什么就說,我們家什么都有。我們拜個干兄弟吧,你以后在學習上多幫助我。你能原諒我嗎?”周文明的話使我深受感動,我對他說:“我永遠不會記恨你的。你很聰敏,只要努力,學習一定能趕上來!”
      這時候,亞玲走上前來,對我說:“快回去吧,李老師也在后面來了。咱們快點往回走,好讓他少跑點路。李老師是個深度近視,別讓他跌一跤,把眼鏡給碰掉了!”
      我們都笑了。大衛開玩笑地對我說:“看你猶猶豫豫的,還有什么要談判的條件嗎?”
      我卻認真地對他說:“那么……一定要和亞玲好!”
      大衛的臉刷地紅了,亞玲的臉也紅了,文明卻背起我的鋪蓋卷,大喊一聲:“咱們開路開路的!”他喊著,便走到前頭,又轉身對我們說:“路不好走,咱們四個人干脆一個拉著一個。我走頭,開路開路的;建強拉著我,大衛拉建強。亞玲拉大衛,空氣拉亞玲!好不好?”他向我們做了鬼臉,大衛和亞玲相視一笑,都不好意思地把頭扭到了一邊……
      我們四個人手拉著手,踏著我們來時踩出腳印,跌跌爬爬,嘻嘻哈哈,在白雪皚皚的峽谷里行進著。走在前面的周文明吹起了響亮的口哨;口哨吹出的旋律是我們熟悉的《游擊隊之歌》。我,大衛和亞玲,忍不住和著文明的口哨聲,輕輕地哼起了這首歌。我們的父兄們當年就些山野里哼著這首歌,戰勝了無數的艱難困苦,贏得了革命的勝利;今天,這不朽的歌曲同樣使我們的感情沸騰,激勵我們的困苦中堅定地前進!我拉著伙伴們的手,唱著親愛的《游擊隊之歌》走向縣城,走向學校,走向未來;我渾身的血液在烈地涌動著,淚水很快蒙住了眼睛,兩邊那耀眼的雪山逐漸模糊了,模糊了……
      1980年冬天到1981年冬天寫于西安

    上一篇:第十三章 《在困難的日子里》已閱讀完畢,繼續閱讀:驚心動魄的一幕

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